pics pics pics galoreeeee

haaGen Daz =)













arty exhibitiony:

































I Was Here (note: i'm wearin a skirt and i STILL climbed da damn letter. must be a free show for everyone eh?)











raNdom pic (i know i know nth better to do right?)



my Species *whoot*

haagen daz

okie today was vb... me and fah were late as usual, we came to klass at nine... da moment we entered klass we were like shocked. i swear. there were only eight, nine people in class? out of twenty-five. what da hell??? lol. so after dat we had to come up with some program. ahhh! i was at it da whole day. finally i got it right. FINALLY! hahahaha... i wrote da codes all by myself, no damien, no sy's friend. yay. a feeling of satisfaction yea? feelin so great now. and no, i'm not arrogant. i'm really proud of myself. hahaha.

after dat we went for rotaract meetin. ahhhh! i swear jurn mun is so silly. omg. dun wanna get into details. but honestly, what a silly guy. can ask me why we need to know da sizes for da tees. i was like 'uhhhhhhh'. lol. wasn't da answer obvious??? hahahaha... rotaract, rotaract, rotaract... hopeless. lol.

after dat we went to haagen daz. yay. finally. posting pictures later. go and check it out. haha on da way we passed by this exibition of some sort. i swear da artworks were just sooooo gorgeous. so we were snappin away. hahahaha. we even took pictures of da words 'i was here'. it was damn funny. i climbed all da way up onto da letter. so did meow. da security guard came out and he was like signallin for us to get off. hahahaha. after dat we went hme. just reached hme in fact. hahaha go and check out da pics later. gorGEOUs.

crazy

crazy. this is totally crazy.

jabs

i have no idea what da hell is wrong with me. i'm hungry all da time nowadays, and i eat so much but i'm losin weight. what da hell. i can be hungry one moment, and not da next. hmmm all my friends are going crazy cuz of this. lol.

okie today i went for my jabs. omg it was freAKIn painful. everyone knows how much i hate jabs. i'm freakin scared of it. okie so lemme continue. we went to ttsh, and i was whinin all da way dere. even when we were fillin out da forms and attendin da briefin, i was dere whinin away. but what can i do? i HATE jabs! and i had to take three. omg. so after dat we had to take da jabs. thank god, i only have to take two in da end. so i went after yaya and was dere with shawn. what da hell. no shawn u did not make things better for me. not in da least bit. ahhHH! i was so scared i din even dare look. lol it hurt da first time, so i covered my eyes da 2nd time. but it din really hurt after dat. and u know what da nurse said to me??? 'you're a very brave girl' uhhhhh... i'm sixteen for god's sake. lol. okie so i was terrified, so what? hahaha.

after dat we had to collect some sort of malaria pills. and here was problem number two. i cant take pills. it's some sort of psychological problem. i have to crush it and take it with chocolate. lol. so da fac was like 'i'm gonna personally supervise u and make sure u take those pills'. omg. lol. i'm such a problematic kid. hahahahahaha.

today we din even attend lesson. we spent half da time in ttsh and came to klass late cuz we decided to eat first. hahahaha. and i spent practically da whole morning helpin my friend with his codes. hahaha i was totally clueLEss.

hmmm what else can i blog abt? i hope i dun eat so much. lol. somebody stop me.

'you're so kind and yet so cruel'
-->ms dhillon

bored!

bored! and i've come to a conclusion - he was wrong. i'd rather be entertained by so-called-losers den stay at hme.

arty pictures

okie dokie time for a review of my life plans. what have i accomplished? hmmm, good question. lookin at it now, i've reached da conclusion dat i've achieved nth. na-da. zilch. now what have i been doin with my life?

maybe it's time i shld do sth abt it.

mars a hoax?

okie so da crap abt seein mars, it was all a HOAX. well, it was pretty unbelievable... wonder why i even trusted it. lol. it's just a dumb E-MAIL. lol.

okie so far things are going pretty good. i tell myself not to get my hopes too high, and dat's probably a good thing to do. but at da same time, i'm so afraid i might want to be serious this time. all my life, i've never been serious. it's just been dates for me. simple flings. not serious. purely for fun. enjoy while you can. and yet now, i dunno why, but i'm not sure if i want JUST dates. i guess i'm gonna see how things go. dat's da only logical thing to do right now.

i hope, i hope, i hope all my wishes will come true. nah, it's too much to wish for.

arab street

okie just got back home... i din even want to go out, i was so tired. but my sis was draggin me outta bed at TWELVE. freakin early! omg. so anyways we went to meet my bro and mum, and after dat headed down to arab street. we started fightin (as usual) when we got dere and finally all of us were pissed and so we headed home. why cant we just go out one day in peace? why? it's always like dat. maybe dat's why i din wanna even go out with dem in da first place. so yea i'm stuck at hme, dun think i'm going out tmr cuz i'm penniless. anybody wanna ask me out? lol.

a lie so often re-told

i paint a picture of us in ma mind
but something seems to be so wrong
i feel as though something is missing
maybe it's been you all along.

yeps i think i'm gonna write something meaningful for once. if i can think of something. it's amazin how people can lie sometimes. they lie to da world. heck dey even lie to themselves. and sometimes, da lie is so often re-told it becomes da truth. at least they perceive it dat way. but what is da truth? and what is da lie? no one can tell anymore. a lie becomes a truth and a truth becomes a lie. heck, even our lives are one big lie. we human beings are just too smart eh?

bleah

i need a freakin job to get me thru da hols. job. job. job. hmmm, i'm so bored right now. b-o-r-e-d. bLeah.

what a day

okie i'm gonna blog both abt ystd and today...

ystd, skool was freakin boring... both of dem ditched me in skool all alone, real smart people. so after skool fah was called up for dunno what and she was freakin scared, so we went with her for moral support. well it turned out she had to go dere cuz da DAA was givin some lecture abt not changin klass... well he kinda made some sense which put my mind at ease. after dat we went for cca. guess what? we have to take jabs to prepare us for thailand. what da hell. i hate jabs, and i have to take three. god please save me. after dat we stayed back to wait for da rest of da guys... just slacked ard... doin nth, pretty nice for a change... and after dat u know what happened??? omg. we were crossin da road like nice decent safety-conscious people (okie we were jaywalkin so what?) when dis stupid yellow car came speedin... let's see da guy was probably going at 100 km per hr minimum, and he was supposed to be going at 80km per hr maximum... so anyways he suddenly jambraked and screeeeched to a halt, and got out. note dat da taxi and all other cars behind almost crashed. inconsiderate bozo. so he got out and started screamin, and i mean screamin. we were standin in da middle of da road by den, and were so freakin shocked. i can't believe it. no one has ever screamed at me dat way. not in my life. what right did he have to scream at me? anways we were stunned, everything just happened so fast. he was screamin and screamin and i was thinkin 'what da fuck is this stupid bozo doin? how dare he?' he was yellin abt how we cross da road, whether we had brains and how dare we accuse him of speedin. what da fuck? what a kaninabeh. anyways my friend apologized and all, and he was still yellin as he drove away. what an ignorant fool. he was freakin speedin, we were crossin da road when dere were no cars and he came speedin, and he din even bother to slow down. what a fucker. dun wanna admit his fault. and yes, as all of u are suspectin, he's a MANJEN. typical bozo.

today was da worst day of my life. firstly, da ut sucked like hell. we came late. da bus was freakin slow and we cudn't get a cab anywhere. so we called da fac, sayin dat we were caught in a traffic jam and said dat we'll be late. and she still told us to get to skool by 0850 if not we wun be allowed to sit for da ut. anways it was 0845 and dere still wasnt a vacant taxi in sight. we were gonna give up when a taxi popped out. yay. we took it and da driver was freakin nice. he rushed us dere and told us to tell da fac dat we had a flat tire. he even gave us his taxi number in case da fac wanted to confirm it. so sweet. love people like him. rare manjens ard =) anways we reached skool at 0900 and managed to psycho da fac into lettin us take da ut. well she did let us, but we only had 15 mins to do it, and i din have a clue what da stupid paper was abt. what da hell. i did only 11 marks worth out of 20 marks and it was all bullshit. maybe i'll get three four marks? hmm confirm an F. what da hell. okie besides da ut, i came to skool dressed like i was going to da market. lol. what to do? i had no ironed clothes at hme and i was rushin. dere goes my reputation. i'm wearin freakin shorts and a freakin shirt and slippers. lol some ppl commented i looked like i'm going for some netball match. lol. so after all da taxis i've taken this whole week (three days outta five) i'm officially penniless. damn it. looks like i'm not going out on sat and sun. boring.

i spent my whole day convincin my friends dat i'm pregnant. lol. and dey bought it. wow i really appreciate dey're concern for me. real sweet =) but sorry i'm not pregnant. lol. but really appreciate all da advice u've given me. thanks a lot guys. love u all.

we're startin this IG in skool. it's abt witchcraft and all. it's freakin cool. anyone interested? i'm gonna voodoo all guys into likin me wahhahahaha! lol jokin jokin.

i love him. i love her. i love me. i love everyone. muacks.

fuck it

skool sucks, life sucks, everything sucks so bad right now. bLeah. both ditched me in skool all alone. damn it.

stupid entry

i derive pleasure from other people's misery. dat's so sick. things have taken a turn. for da worse or for better, i'm not too sure right now. things are constantly changin, and i guess tryin to solve all da problems aint gonna work... maybe i shld take things a step at a time.

damn it

things are so not going my way today.

poem

yeps i think i've developed a fetish for poems =) lol i'm feelin so poetic today??? interesting.

feelings she buried deep within her
push its way up to a view so clear
afraid it will bring forth all her fears
and she can do nothing but sit by in tears

only when everything is said and done
things will change but no she cant
she's just lyin to herself and keepin it all in
'cause she knows she'll be afraid when reality starts to sink in

it's precisely the truth she doesn't want to hear
knowin when she does da end is probably very near
she doesn't want all her hopes to be killed
and so her lips are sealed

yeps, my lips are sealed. i dun wanna talk abt it, i dun wanna hear abt it, i dun wanna know anything abt it. i'd rather not think abt it, i'd rather not talk abt it, cuz when i don't it doesn't hurt as much. i know i'm just lyin to myself, but i'm just scared. cuz when i talk abt it, reality starts to sink in.

i thought dat i'd thought things thru, dat i finally knew what i wanted. especially after da recent spate of events. and yet, everything has been turned upside down. i dun even know where i'm going. i feel so fuckin lost. i dunno why he did dat, but it has just made me more confused, and more hurt. i dun think he even realises it, but come to think of it, i dun think he'll even give a damn. it was me. it was my curiousity. it was me, gettin my hopes all high. it was me, thinkin too far. i guess i deserve it den, i'm never gonna be alright again. no matter how much i lie to myself, face it, my life is never gonna be a-okay. and i have no idea how i'm gonna clear up this mess. i am such a fuckin flop. i'm killin myself right now. i know by doin what i'm doin right now, i'm hurtin myself more. i don't even know why i'm doin all this. but maybe i just need to get myself hurt enough to realize things aren't gonna work out.

i need to know what i want.

ur right =) i need to know what i want.

talentime

i'm stuck at hme bored... ask me why? cuz i was lazy and overslept! omg. okie this was what happened. i was waiting for my friend to come online, and somehow i managed to fall asleep. what da hell. lol and i woke up like damn late. and everyone ditched me and went out. arGh!

okie da pizza thing was quite okie, da second round was better den da first. but we still need to think of ways to raise funds. meow came up with da idea of talentime. hmm, feasible. man she's freakin smart. someone pls stop her. haha okie anyways, i was thinkin dat if her idea goes thru, we could also put up an item. makes skool so much more interestin, dun u think so? hahaha.

i'm feelin weird inside right now. everything is slippin away. i've always envisioned my perfect life as... hmmm too many things to say so i'll spare all of u da agony =) i'm sure all of u have thought abt how u would want ur life to be like right? yea, and now i just think dat everything is slippin away. bLeah. life is never perfect, huh?

stupid entry got erased

shit my damn entry got erased and i'm too lazy to re-write it cuz it's super fuckin long. so ciao.

another poem

hmmm everyone's acting weird, and of cuz it's all my doin... i think so anyways. i've been so fucked-up nowadays... anyways i've really been tryin to stop being so moody and all, tryin to be da person all of u knew. so gimme a break people.

i've been thinkin abt it, and i'm startin to think i'm bein such a bitch. i'm leadin both of dem on, but it's not like i purposely did it... i'm just confused.

okie i'm gonna copy meow's quote... wahhahha! with another poem of cuz, since fah is such a fan of my poems... hahaha =)

i feel as though i'm running through a maze
crumbling under everyone's but da angels' gaze
endless twists and endless turns
stumbling with tears dat burn

i find no way out
i hear nothing, not even help's shout
not a single soul in sight
to even show me a guiding light

all i see ahead of me is darkness
even through all the tears
not knowing when i will ever see da light
and whether i can continue puttin up this fight

i'm beginning to realize i'm in this alone
and to no one my troubles i've shown
maybe da devil might hear my cries
but of course everything comes with a price

just a poem

maybe ur right... life would be so boring den... but still i just wish life isnt so complicated right now. maybe it's just me, i'm da one who's undoin everything, but i just feel so overwhelmed. dere are probably certain things dat u dunno and i cant tell you, but u have no idea how much it hurts. i'm in this alone.

she feels so confused when she looks at him
she's not sure if she really means anything
sometimes he's nice and sometimes he's cold
she doesn't even know what's on his mind at all

sometimes she wishes he would just come clean
telllin her his wishes, hopes and dreams
he raises her hopes time and time again
only to send her crashin back to earth once again

what he's thinkin she'll never know
all he prefers is keeping it low
she always wishes that things would go her way
and he would tell her he loves her one day

trust him, believe him
dat was da world she wanted to live in
and yet everything turned out to be so wrong
she doesn't even know what to believe anymore

life is weird

hmmm... life is weird, things always turn out opposite from what you expect, things always are not what you think... dun u wonder sometimes why life is like dat? why isit so unpredictable? why isit so difficult to figure out? why can't it be straightforward? why cant it be da case whereby what u see is what u get? i dunno why things have turned out this way... maybe it's just me. i cant read people. i cant get what they're thinkin. i'm clueless. and dere is no one who will understand it. no one who can see it frm my point of view. or maybe i'm just too insecure. too untrusting. i don't even know what to believe anymore.

trust you, dats all i wanted to do, and yet all dat i thought was wrong... i dont even know what to believe anymore.

nonono!

yeps we're changin klasses. it's confirmed. no i dun wanna change. no i'm not adaptable. no i dun wanna be adaptable. no i dun wanna lose touch with everyone. no i dun wanna change. no no no. i'm gonna whine my way thru. flood his freakin email. anyone with me???

break

okie i think i've got everything figured out... i guess everyone has problems yea? it's unfair for me to expect dem to listen to me all da time, so i guess i have to deal with this all on my own... i guess i shld solve da biggest problems first, da rest can wait, and hey, maybe this break we're gonna take might just turn out good =)

fuck

i've reached home, nth to do right now... freakin free... shit i dun even know what da fuck i shld blog abt...

whatever

how can i ask ppl to understand what i myself dun understand? i'm just feelin so out of sorts, i dun even know why? maybe it's just me, i'm just throwin myself into everything i do so dat i wun have any free time to think abt things dat have been happening. but no matter how hard i try, it just keeps cumin back to me, and it isnt da greatest feelin, trust me. i'm lost i dunno what i shld do... it's like i have no idea where i shld go. i have no idea whether what i'm doin is right. i just cant rid of da thoughts dat seem to flood my head. i try not to think abt it, but do u have any idea how difficult it is? no one seems to understand. it's times like this dat i would rather be left alone... dun pretend to know me when u dun even understand what da hell i'm goin thru. i feel so tired of keepin up this whole facade, being happy, comfortin others, when i dun even know what da hell i'm doin. i'm really tired. but if i dun, i dun think i'll be left with anything. it's said dat in a relationship, u shld share every joy, every sorrow, but for me i dun think it applies. at least not anymore. my life is just too complicated. i would have to put up just another facade. sometimes i wonder who i can tell everything to, i mean everyone has someone, but not me. i dun think dey'll even understand me, and i also dun wan everyone to be plagued down with all my troubles. why not just let dem believe i'm just da blur gal who dun have a trouble in da world? i mean, things would be simpler dat way. sometimes i do wish dat dere would be someone, but i dun think so anymore. no it has nth to do with both guys, if dat's what ur thinkin. i'm just speakin frm a general view. i used to believe dat dere would be someone, but i dun believe in dat anymore. dere wun be anyone. and dat's da way life goes. i'm just a fuckin flop in life.

bleah

okie today's klass was freakin boring... damn boring... i wanted to fall asleep most of da time, and of cuz da air-con din really help in keepin me awake... so in da end i got outta klass and started walkin up and down to wake myself up... what da hell??? but klass was really so boring, da fac was dere dronin on and on and on abt what i'm also not sure... oh well, sci klass has always been like dat for me... i hate sci klass.. argh, but i have to learn to like it, man i'm a sci student!!! =)

i dunno why? but i wanted to start off as friends, but i'm not sure what's going on right now, things have turned ard, and i'm not sure what i'm feeling... maybe i'm just too eager to move on, to forget everything... i dunno, all i can do now is to wait.

klass is freakin boring

today's klass is freakin boringgggg... like seriously. it's sci klass and it's physics. omg. what da hell?

new blogskin!

okie dokie this is da new blogskin i've done... whoot! nice huh? i did it, i did it, i did it =) any comments ppl?? haha okie dokieeeee of cuz i did this with da help of fah's friend... real nice guy, helped me upload da pic and all... hehe so far fah said it's fuckin nice... haha i have to agree... it's fantastic! i know i'm being damn narcisstic here and all, but what can i do? i'm really proud... haha! for a computer dumb dumb to come up with a blogskin... whoot! haha i'm willin to do for u guys too if u want =) i'm damn proud right now... ahhh da most satisfactory moment i must say... whoot! yeps, dat's abt it...

i'm really happy right now... yay yay yay.

kanina

fuck fuck fuck ppl pls go and get a fuckin life. kanina.

bleah bleah bleah

honestly, i hate being in this world, all caught up in da cycle of bitchiness, jealousy, vanity. i'm freakin sick of it. two down, three to go.

going crazy

somebody stop meeee i'm goin crazzzziiiieeeeee.
somebody stop meeee i'm goin crazzzziiiieeeeee.

boreeeed laaaaa

i'm fre-akin bored rightttt now!!! ahhh i know i know this is da second time i'm bloggin today but can i do? i still have four hrs to kill before i'm headin out *whoot* okie okie bear with me =)

yay! i've come up with my own background for my blogskin, but da problem now it how to upload such a big pic onto da net. usually it automatically resizes my pic. bummer. anyways fah's got her friend to help me out, so it's pretty cool =)

thanks so much for listenin to me, i guess it's a long time before someone has really listened =) i really appreciate it. thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks.

bOo!

hot guy's number!

i was too tired ystd to bloggg... hmm okie so i'm bloggin for yesterday now =) okie we stayed back in skool for a while, for da carnival thingie... nth much to blog abt dat, but u shld da artworks da students came up with... freakin gor-geous!!! okie dokie we dumped all our balloons on this guy lol. we din wanna lug it back home with us, so we told him dat his artwork was gorgeous and so we could have all da balloons for free... lol. i think he knew our motive, but he still accepted da balloons anyways and voila! a new friend made. lol.

after dat we went to chinatown to eat. eat finish, headed home. so boring right? what to do? tireddd la...

lalala

my life is kinda like a routine right now... go to skool, look at da hot guy next door, chat chat chat... hai it's pretty boring... haha =) actually i thought dat things were doomed after i blew my top last night, but cool, everything is alright now =)

nth to do right now... bored outta my skull... lalala.

okie dokie fah has sent meee my be-autiful pictures (finally!!!)

me closeeee up


me and cher acting stupid (note cher's fingernails - representing her patriotism for da country)


me and fah cheek-to-cheek


whata fake smile


groupie!!! and look at my cleavage omg!


our bootiful butts


our bootiful butts number two!!!


groupie again!!!


cher wanted this ridiculous pose!


thumbs up!!!

i am cuter den fah's lil sis

i've been thinkin... and i think i think a lot... but what can i do? all a thinker can do is to think, and to think is a thinker's job. so anyways, like i was saying, i was thinkin and thinkin and thinkin, and thinkin of what i was thinkin, i think dat i am cuter den fah's lil sister... dun u agree???

lazyyyyy

i've been lazin arddd da hse doin nth da past few days. finished all four books. bored. bored. bored outta my skull. i'm still waitin for fah to send me those pics... yawn** fah could u hurry??? lol.

we're sellin pizza tmr! yay! hot hot hot guyyyyy here i come... whoot! haha i probably sound like some bimbotic bozo. but i dun care. lol.

after much pondering and thinkin and knockin my head on da wall, i think dat i've come to a conclusion: i aint gonna give up. thanks for all your encouragement guys. really appreciate it. no i'm not being sarcastic. i think it's da wwss mentality: never give up!

i can't wait to get back to skool. i need to occupy my mind with something, even if it's about some lame mosquito spreadin dengueeee everywhere and killin everyone. yay, and my dad is finally gettin me da damn long-awaited treadmill. we're probably gonna go scoutin this week =) and fah u're invited to try it outtt tooo.

i want my pics fah. i want it now. NOW. i wanna show da whole world my be-autiful faceeeee.

sentosa

yea been pretty lazy to update... yeps ystd we went to sentosa =) actually i din wanna go, but what da hell? i had nth to do da whole dayyy, so we (me and fah) arrived late... we met cher and xS on da way... so we met up, and saw yayer and his friends, and so we went to sentosa together... and over dere, so many things happened... man. i'm talkin abt it like some suspense story like dat sia. lol.

so when we reached dere, after whining for a long long long time, juls agreed to go bladin with me. it has been a million years since i last went bladin, and i almost forgotten how to. after a while, i got da hang of it even though i din know how to brake... haha i was going all ard sentosa like some penguin, my arms flailin all da time... at least i din fall =) juls fell three times... haha. it was damn hilarious, da way i had to grab onto anything i could find just to brake. fah, cher and xS also went bikin in da end... cool =) da stupid blades kept cuttin into my skin, and now i have humogous wounds on da sides of my legs. omg. nvm. at least i had fun. yay.

after dat we just lazed ard, took pics, eat eat eat. den came da whole drama. all of us split into three dif grps, and due to miscommunication, all of us were waiting for each other until it was dark. man we were all pissed. den stuff happened and all. and in da end, we met up and went home together. shawn decided to stay for da free flow of beer and buffet. what a pig.

even though da day ended da wrong way, we had fun yea? wavin at allll da surfer dudes, jumpin out of da tram halfway =) all da stupid crazy stuff. lol. and i got millions of pics to upload... haha, okie, maybe six or seven only. but dere's more dat's still in da fah's cam. i'll probably update it when she sends it over to me.

blades and my hand


juls and her slick ninjado moves


juls showing her gradin stuff


juls loveeeee ninjado sooo much


da wonderful wristguards juls proposed we wear


me and my long-awaited blades


of cuz i knowwww self defence


okie this looks totally manjen, but hey sometimes u just gotta do it

nope

sometimes in your pursuit for something, you often neglect things that are more impt. and i'm not abt to make dat mistake.

ashrafali = my bf??? almost impossible

i feel freakin sad right now... i actually thought dat i stood a chance with him... dat i was pretty lucky, dat it would be easy to get him to like me... i know dat i shld not give up at this point of time... cuz he's probably one of da few guys i really care abt, and can see myself go a long long way with... and i'm practically halfway to achievin my goal... but i just dunno what he's thinkin... sometimes he's just so incredibly nice, and da next moment, he's so cold... i dun even know where i stand, whether all i'm doin is worth it. i feel so scared, the way he affects my mood so much, da way i really care for him. i probably wouldn't have thought much of today's incident, but after hearin what others said, i feel so scared, so lost. i dun even know if i'm doin da right thing. i'm freakin lost, and every step counts, i can't afford to make any mistakes. but i just like him so much, i dun even know if it's dat easy to forget him. maybe i'm just being crazy, ppl tell me it's his loss, but who knows? it's all empty words to comfort me. cuz i know how much he means to me. i wanted to tell him so many times dat i liked him, but i told myself not to do so, i might scare him off, and now all da more i have da urge to do it, to tell him. freak, i know i shouldn't. i can't. right now i think da logical thing to do is to forget him, he's just too big a part of my life. but nope, it isn't as easy as i tell myself it is. not even close. ever tried to test god's existence? well i think i'm gonna try dat now. i'm gonna leave everything to fate, to Him. If it works out, i think i'll be da happiest gal in rp =) if it doesn't, den i guess maybe i'm just not da lucky one. oh well. i just hope everything turns out da way i want it to.

i'm going for a job interview tmr. hope i get it. i guess it's just da thing to get my mind off him.

today we skipped klass halfway, after da flop fire drill. it's not dat i dun wanna stay, i mean we were already in skool and lesson was gonna end soon anyways, but i just had no mood to do anything, not after dat incident. so all of us left. i din even feel like leavin with juls and da rest, i guess i wanted to be alone for a while, needed my own space. i just reached home, and i still feel so freakin moody. i'm probably gonna get a D for today's lesson. i skipped skool like five times already, and knowin myself, i dun think this will be da last time. hai. i just think dat he's affectin my life so much.

i guess i'm da type of person who is happy all da time, lets all da unhappiness pile up and finally become sad and moody for a while, and it's back to happy and bouncy again. i'm determined not to let all this affect my moods anymore.

i've never really believed in god. i just knew He was dere, but i never really thought of BELIEVING in Him. i guess i knew he existed only cuz my parents drilled dat into my head since i was young. and as i grew up, there never really was any evidence of Him being dere for me. i was unfairly treated, my family was breakin up, and just abt everything bad happened to me. i guess it was durin dat period i stopped prayin altogether and lost faith in Him. and yet he was da only one who made me really think whether He existed. he was da only one who made me even consider believin in Him again, becuz i thought He made my life better. i just dunno... he's just such a big part of my life right now, i dun even know if it's so easy to forget him.

yea yea i know this entry is all abt him, is long-winded and what-not. but this has really been weighin on my mind for so long and i really need to get it out of my system. so for all u bored ppl out dere readin this entry, pls tag =)

today was sci module... as usual i din have a clue what was goin onnnnn... damn halfway we left to go mac, and me and cher came up with da t-shirt design over dere... well, i think dat shirt is not bad... quite nice =) hope da jurn mun approves of it... and den it would be on its way to production *whoot*

things are lookin up... i'm so happy, i guess lady luck is shining on me yea??? oh well, let's just see how things turn out =)

there are just so many things i wanna do... can't wait to get started. yay!

and i think i sound psychotic =) haha bet u dun even know what da hell i'm talkin abt.

kaninabeh

fuck fuck fuck my fuckin kaninabeh cheebai family. i've had enough. when will dey stop all this? cheebai. i cant tolerate it anymore. i tried to but it's just gettin so difficult. my only solace is that i'm moving out soon. thank god.

i feel so fuckin insecure and confused right now. kaninabeh. i'm fuckin feelin like freakin shit. i hate dem. i fuckin hate dem.

damien's b-dae

today was dam's b-dae... *whoot* we went out to buy a cake, me fah and meow... it tasted great (of cuz i chose it) it was oreo crunch cheesecake... wow and half da cake went onto damien's meow's and cher's faces... lol even shawny and keke wasnt spared... haha fah was just damn lucky to escape everything, she was freakin clean when she was supposed to be da dirtiest!!! ahha =) anyways juls wore my jacket cuz her clothes were dirtied frm da cake and all, lol she looked like she fell into a pile of shit... and cher looked like she just came back frm da jungle... huga huga. anyways i think meow's gonna be my personal laundry woman... she washes all my clothes for me... haha cool eh?

today so many wonderful things happened... i'm just so happy everything turned out this way. yay! damien brought me luck huh?

back to skool

back to skool today... lesson was really really cool, there was no ppt, just had to answer a few questions and voice ur opinions... whoot today was damn fun and interesting... loved it... we were on da forum da whole day... lol me and fah were arguin so bad, we were going after each other's throats!!! lols =) loved today yay!

i think i can do it after all, we're getting better and better and i'm loving every single minute of it... i'm so happy...

left my dad to buy all da exercise equipment... quick dad quick!!! by da damn thing now!

sick in da morning

i woke up realll early this morning... for once in my life on a weekend =) why??? ask me why??? i dunno why but i just woke up all of a sudden (i has this idea dat there was nth else to dream abt)... okie and so, i was fine and all, and all a sudden, my head was spinning, i felt like i was gonna puke anytime and my stomach hurt so bad... omg i dunno what all dat was abt... okie so i tried to lie down, and it became worse, so i did what any first aider was taught to do *lol* i squatted down in da middle of da room (i must have looked freakin weird) and put my head down... i had to do dat for at least five minutes before i started feelin better... what da hell??? and now i'm fine and dandy, now aint dat weird? hmmm...

i'm still tryin to find a job.. i must be da biggest flop in da world, i mean until now i cant find a decent job... lol yes cher i am a FLOP... haha =) i guess i cant do anything but continue lookin for one...

tmr skool's startin... cognitive. hope alvin's in a good mood, he's fucked up when he isn't. okie dokie dat's all... probably gonna blog later too, i'm too free.